Ramadhan 1429 - Day 13

Month For Reflection

Without realizing it, we already went through almost half of Ramadhan, the month full of wonder. For me, Ramadhan is the month for me to reflect back on all the things that I've done through out the previous year. But, as a human, i do have weaknesses to be able to correct all the bad things i did. I tried my best, in deed i'm still trying to refrain my self from seeing him. Yes, it's true i'm avoiding him not in an obvious way( it doesn't really matter actually, because he'll never realize it). I have no clue whether i'm exaggerating my feeling or not, but i know, i try to protect my iman and faith. I don't want to drag my self deep into the problem, i'm just afraid that i couldn't find my way back to reality, the 'hakikat' of my self!

There's always reason for all my acts. Why, i'm keeping my self away from other? why i'm like to be alone? It's just a mechanism that i'm always think it will protect me from my 'wrong desire'. It's really hard to be me, as people always think that i have a complicated mind and thinking. But it's ok, i'm open for critics. And i reflect more on my self, that not the only problem need to be corrected, there are many more and i hope i'll manage to do it, slowly, one bye one.........

Harapan Ramadhan

Ku mengharapkan Ramadhan
Kali ini penuh makna
Agar dapat kulalui
Dengan sempurna

Selangkah demi selangkah
Setahun sudah pun berlalu
Masa yang pantas berlalu
Hingga tak terasa ku berada
Di bulan Ramadhan semula

Puasa satu amalan
Sebagaimana yang diperintahNya
Moga dapat ku lenturkan
Nafsu yang selalu membelenggu diri
Tiada henti-henti

Tak ingin ku biarkan Ramadhan berlalu saja
Tuhan pimpinlah daku yang lemah
Mengharungi segalanya dengan sabar


Ku mengharapkan Ramadhan
Kali ini penuh makna
Agar dapat kulalui
Dengan sempurna

Ku memohon pada Tuhan diberikan kekuatan
Ku merayu pada Tuhan diterima amalan

Selangkah demi selangkah...
Dengan rahmatMu oh Tuhanku...
Ku tempuh jua

Ramadhan 1429 - Day 3

can't believe I'm saying good bye to my tutor.

even though he's the kind that always scolded people,
always with his serious and fierce face,
and always call people stupid,
and if every time i walked pass him,
I would try to avoid making eye contact with him,
or worst,
I would run!

He's very strict person,
but I enjoyed his class,
even though my heart will beating fast,
and i would feel scare or nervous,
but I realize that,
i learned more.

He's person with many story,
with word of wisdom,
which bring me far across time and space,
he make me see the past,
peek over the future.

I know people will think i'm crazy,
but seriously for sure,
I'll be missing him.

Ramadhan 1429 - Day 2

Ramadhan is here once again,
and Alhamdulillah,
I've been given an opportunity to live till today,
to meet, once again
the holy month of Ramadhan.

Many things need to be achieved in this month,
and of course,
priority is given for the spiritual component,
to be clean and nourished,
so that,
our Iman and faith become stronger.

I hope,
I'll be stronger to face the day,
to become a better person,
to become a better muslim,
to declare everything and stop being hypocrite even to myself,
to stop all the madness ,
that I've promised my self over and over again.

I hope,
I can walk this month with success,
InsyaAllah.